No apologies, I’m a Norwich fan and this article is linked to them
Never go back.
Another week, another generic report informing us that Jamie Cureton is really pumped up for the next match against [insert name of whoever Norwich happen to be playing] and is sure he will break his duck. These scoops increasingly have the hollow ring of a man desperately trying to engender a modicum of confidence in himself, let alone the great reading public of Norfolk.
Curo remains a Barclay darling but I’m not quite sure why. As a youngster he made the initial hesitant step from youth team to first XI, but like Chris Llewellyn, Adrian Coote, Lee Lee Lee Power and long line of others, he couldn’t hold down a regular place. Many will fondly remember his bright green barnet sported at Portman Road in April 1996 (those present may recall that he actually washed it off before entering the fray). Mike Walker quietly farmed him out and so started an unremarkable career as a jobbing journeyman lower league striker.
A decade passed without club and player reacquainting themselves. Jamie had found himself at Colchester and, with Chris Iwelumo as strike partner, he was in a rich vein of form. Scoring in the home and away fixtures, he further endeared himself to the Norwich faithful by not celebrating his goals as a mark of respect. As the season ended, little Jamie whacked in a transfer request rather pompously claiming the U’s level of ambition did not match his own. Peter Grant, having just seen mercenary midget Mekon Earnshaw engineer a dream move for himself to Premiership highflyers Derby (didn’t they just deserve each other!), and not known for his shrewd judgement in transfer dealings, snapped Curo up as an ideal replacement.
And so we all looked forward to JC carrying on where he had imperiously left off at Colchester. Only that didn’t really happen. It turned out that Jamie had a “Heroes” style hidden power, a mercurial talent for converting gilt edged chances into head-in-hands, how did he miss that one, utterances of profanities. Time and again a perfect ball would be slotted through and time and again JC would raise his thumb to the provider with a wan smile after fluffing the opportunity. Those with a number 10 and “Cureton” on the back of their XXL replica shirts will be quick to remind you that he has always had an eye for goal. A look at the stats will show he has scored 199 goals in a career of 538 games stretching back to 1994. So far reasonably impressive, but 101 of those were scored in a purple three season patch between 1998 and 2001. Add in the 24 that secured him the Championship’s Golden Boot at Colchester and you don’t need the intellect of a football agent to deduce that there have been many, ahem, lean seasons for JC.
It is a well known truism in football that returning to a club is never a good idea. Ask Mike Walker or Flecky. We could have looked back on sepia-toned memories of cherubic Jamie and his verdant derby day bouffant, bless him. Instead, we’ll cherish slightly more painful memories of a player who would give Leon “the Assassin” Mackenzie a run for his money in preserving the pristine state of barn doors. With the latest set of accounts setting Mr Doncaster off on a fervent search for pips to set a squeaking and the manager signing a very similar player in Arturo Lupoli – well, similar except for Arturo being much younger, much quicker and an infinitely more clinical finisher – I predict the days of Jamie’s second coming may be drawing to an ignoble close. With the message already spread that Glenn’s January transfer war chest amounts to three buttons and a fruit machine token, Curo may well find that the long line of teams he has turned out for has a new addition just after Christmas.
Doctor Bet’s Wealth Tonic – keeping you wealthy and wise
“Self-respect is the fruit of discipline; the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself.” Rabbi Abraham Heschel
Perhaps the greatest lesson any punter can learn is that discipline is the key to profitability. Quite simply, in the vast majority of cases the bookmakers have set their odds correctly to ensure the house edge makes them profitable. The sophisticated punter identifies those situations that the bookmakers have miscalculated. If you bet on every football match over an entire season you will lose. No if’s or buts, you will lose money. The key to successful gambling is to be ultra selective in your bets and not chase losses. The more selective you are, the higher the chances are that you will show a profit. Do not get sucked into bets you wouldn’t normally have as an “interest” bet because the event is on tv. “Interest” bets line the path to the poor house! Even the use of bookmakers free bets isnt going to get you out of trouble if you back everything that moves.
Bets of the week
A foray to the US and the NFL for this weeks’ action. Pursuing my ongoing thread of strong defences nullifying attacks, bet on the under 34pts available for the Tennessee Titans v Baltimore Ravens game at even money. Neither team has a particularly potent offense and both have strong defences that are ranked 5th and 1st respectively. Defence, Defence, Defence!
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